Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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