he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Randomize
