I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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