So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
