He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
