so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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