The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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