i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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