I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
