My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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