we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
