Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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