The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
