i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
