I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I sprained my soul last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
