If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize