I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My vagina just recognized that song.
two words...techno handjob
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
