so let's talk penis.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
