You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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