Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think my fart just growled at me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The adults are the big ones right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
