He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
