Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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