i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
