I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
