im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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