The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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