There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
