umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
