You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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