He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
