...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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