Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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