okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
