remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
