i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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