dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
