forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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