if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize