Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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