ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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