What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
