you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
