And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
