i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
