I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
