There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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