If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
