I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
