Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My balls are so social today.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
