She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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