If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
