Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
