Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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