so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
