yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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