in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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