the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
