So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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