and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
