I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Randomize
