this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
