Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
