dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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