I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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