ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
