his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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