youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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