If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
either way he was missing a nipple.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
