So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
