I feel like abortions should bother me more
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
