The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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