If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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