He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
