Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
