It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
